The Hand-Knitted Pirate

Ex Pat Blog: Prologue

2011-07-06T20:09:00.002+01:00

I guess this might end up being one of those terribly irritating ex-pat blogs before too long.

For now, I'll just say I've been working in Amsterdam for a few days, putting together an exciting science idea. I can also tell you that I still love Albert Heijn. I can also inform you that the fashionable Amsterdam lady is wearing skinny jeans, big sunglasses and a smart blazer and is striding purposefully around in big heels or is wearing a colourful knee-length skirt that flutters prettily around her bicycling legs. There are, as Sartorialist readers know, many shawls and scarves.

My first useful Dutch phrases are "ik begrijp niets" and "alstublieft". The rest I'll pick up as I go.

Are We Nearly There Yet?

2011-06-02T22:22:00.000+01:00

No, but we're more nearly there than we ever have been before.

Manners Maketh The Man

2011-05-02T14:47:00.008+01:00

On Saturday night, I went to see steampunk musical heroes The Men That Will Not Be Blamed For Nothing in a strange leopard-print tent out the back of a pub in Digbeth. I've been listening obsessively to their album on spotify and as an enthusiastic fan of dressing-up-ridiculously-at-events-that-might-call-for-such-things I togged up suitably.

And that outfit in colour:

I had most of the stuff already - the skirt, blouse and boots are from my normal work wardrobe. I made the pleated petticoat out of some muslin from my dressmaking box and the little collar was some other dressmaking scraps trimmed with brown ribbon and irregular matte brown sequins. The corset comes from my existing collection and the choker is black ribbon with some marcasite beads from a broken bracelet. The goggles are embellished with sugru around the rims and painted over with pewter and brass acrylic paints and settled in my epically backcombed hair. Smart, right?

But what about the bands? The first support band Frenchy and the Punk were really enjoyable. It's a bit hard to describe their style, but I recommend you watch some of their live stuff.

I'll draw a neat veil over the second support band and proceed onto the main event! TMTWNBBFN! (tmtwnbbfn!)

They had us singing "Isambard Kingdom! BRUNEL!" and about the London sewers and Boilerplate Dan and marveling at the use of a musical saw. Victorian Grindcore was a marvellous gag, and the Royal Wedding was marked by a medley of both God Save The Queens. The new songs (variously about a Lovecraftian excursion to Margate, the Great Stink and an unusual form of contraception) made me impatient for the second album, especially as the size of venue and some sort of mixing oddness at the sound desk made it hard to pick out a lot of the lyrics during the more thrashy songs.

But a great time was had by all and it kicked off in a reserved, genteel manner for the more established tunes like Goggles, Steph(v)enson and Etiquette.

The best thing about The Men Who... is that they're really strong musically. My boyfriend enjoyed their extremely chunky metal riffage as much as the songs about cool stuff with cogs on. Excellent!

A Three Headed Monkey

2011-04-22T11:25:00.003+01:00

I bet you were wondering how the Monkey Island cross stitch was going on.

Yup. I'm doing it.

I haven't included any details for scale, but the half of it that you can see sketched out is about a foot square. It is going to take a while.

2011 Eurovision Preview

2011-03-29T18:28:00.003+01:00

Albania
Begins with a good intro and proceeds well until the chorus, when it goes a bit Radio 2. The singer saves it a bit by having amazing hair and nails.
It's probably a grower.

Armenia
Generic, sparse tangoesque latin pop.
Boom-boom chaka-chaka, for pity's sake.
It is, at least, quite cute.

Austria
A long acapella intro shows off some impressive lungwork. A bit inspirational Disney,
complete with a key change and appearance of a concealed choir.

Azerbaijan
Like a rich tea biscuit - dull but not unpleasant.

Belarus
A recent trend has been the self-promotional Eurosong (cf LT United, The Balkan Girls, Irlande Douze Point etc etc) but this is a bit different and has absolutely no ironic wink to the audience. I like it, but I feel that the chorus is a bit too close to 'Ra Ra Rasputin' to count as strictly original. If the video is anything to go by, the stage show will include some people in traditional costume dancing, which I always love.

Oh god, the zither just kicked in.

Belgium
You can never tell what the Belgians are going to contribute. This year, we have some
slick and nonsensical acapella vocal jazz in our gift from Brussels. Remaining so
defiantly out of step with modern pop takes some doing. I take my hat off to them. The beatbox section was quite good though and I liked the way they did the keychange.

Bosnia & Herzegovina
Real end of the night drunken 'life is hard but we get along' stuff with a touch of
oompah. I hope the man gets a better jacket for the big night in May.

Bulgaria
A rock ballad by an impressively coiffed young rock chick. I spotted a keytar in her
band, who were all playing seated until the second verse for no apparent reason. I like it, but as it's in Bulgarian I think I will have to make up my own words before I can put it onto my 'Clenched Fist of Emotion Angsty Singalong Playlist'. "Oh, my emotions are all stinky!" the chorus could go.

Croatia
Mid-nineties dance here. The singer has a very captivating nose and exhorts us to 'put our hands up' and have a good time. It's pleasant, but I don't know if it's memorable enough to make it through the semis. Luckily, Croatia will probably have enough friends to put it through regardless.

Ooh, the breakdown there had some dubstep wub-wub-wub noises in it. Modern!

Cyprus
Whine, whine, manpain, whine.

Denmark
I suggest that we could be looking at a Danish win. This song already sounds like the
end of an 'emotional journey' documentary or a blast of confetti on a man holding a big glass trophy. I am not just saying this because one of my favourite Eurovision pals is Danish. I do think the giant white balloon things are cheating though.

Estonia
Rockefeller Street is just nonsense and is ruined entirely by the awful loud shouty
grindy bits after the choruses. I was prepared to get behind this song until that.

Finland
An adorable, if slightly worthy eco-ballad. It's a bit like what we were all listening to when Travis were big. You can even probably sing the chorus of 'Writing to Reach' you over the chorus of this one if you wanted to.

France
Oh, France. This is getting silly now. I preferred Sebastian Tellier with his daft golf cart and his bearded backing singers. This sort of soft opera crap hasn't been
considered pop music since the charts were decided on who had sold the most sheet
music. Play the bloody game.

Georgia
Rocktastic and quite fun. I wasn't expecting the rapper, but I don't think it
detracted. I would have liked more singer/rapper interaction because I love a shouty
boy/girl duet.

Germany
Lena is already massive. I quite like this - reminds me a tiny bit of Lykke Li or any
of the icily-temperamented sexy pop ladies of recent years. Love it, but it's too kinky and wierd to do well in Eurovision. I have, however, put it on my main Spotify
playlist.

Greece
Back to ridiculous Europop with a song featuring rapper 'Stereo Mike' (not the same one from that song where some guy said 'This is Stereo Mike? Stereo Mike?). Do you remember when the UK put some gentle, non-threatening urban music by Love City Groove in for Eurovis and it didn't do well? Well I finally think Europe has caught up. I've noted the presence of about half a dozen rappers, beatboxers and allied trades, which at least means Eurovision has moved forwards.

I didn't care for this song at all.

Hungary
Generic upbeat disco stuff. Enjoyable and with leanings towards being anthemic. Cher
would have had this on the 'Believe' album.

Iceland
Very, very gentle easy listening with parping brass.

Ireland
I was recently trying to explain the concept of Jedward to some non-Brits and was
reminded that two halfwits do in fact constitute one wholewit. The video is really,
really troubling, but not as troubling as the jedward twitter feed that I follow
because I cannot look away. I am not sure if it is alright for Jedward to be out in the world, but they seem happy enough. I cannot wait to see what havock they can wreak in the green room. The song is listenable tosh, but it's more or less besides the point.

Israel
Dana International returns with some sort of treatment on her vocals. I'm glad she's
back and all that, but I wish the song was at least an order of magnitude better.

Italy
Back after 14 years, Italy supplies us with a rather classy number that belongs in an
underground bar at about 1:20am. From the music video, I presume it is also connected
with a film or soap or something. Unsure.

Latvia
Upbeat dancepop from a pair dressed like they're leaving the X Factor on Big Band Week. It's got my favourite linguistic quirk so far - to whit: 'Kill me with killer kiss! Kill me with tenter lips!"

One of them does a rap that I would go so far as to describe as 'nerdcore'.

Lithuania
A melodramatic intro leading to a melodramatic torch song. I thought there was
potential for some skirt-removal when the beat kicked in but alas, it never did.

FYRo Macedonia
Balkan flavoured chart-rock with a puzzling song structure. Break for accordion, loud
hailer and traditional Balkan choir in the middle 8. Expect traditional dancing.

Malta
Malta submit a winning, dancey plea for equality and tolerance that is basically GaGa's Born This Way but a little bit less good.

Moldova
Big dumb rock chorus with verses featuring some sort of local Moldovan wind instrument.
Compelling. The NME could potentially like something like this, but only for one week
before an inevitable vitriolic backlash.

Netherlands
Aural teflon. I cannot remember what it sounds like and it's still playing.

Norway
I thought I could hear autotune or something on the gal's voice, but it was enjoyable
and listenable. The chorus is in Swahili, which I thiiiiiink might be the first time
lyrics in Swahili have appeared at Eurovision.

Poland
You can reconstruct this song in your head by imagining Britney's 'Womanizer' and
systematically stripping all the fun production touches off it. Harrumph, harrumph.

Portugal
It's the quirky one! I interpreted this as being some sitcom characters singing a ditty about socialism or trades unionism. It's called 'The Struggle' and I suspect there is some wordplay in it that doesn't translate. (I looked at the bio after writing this and it turned out that I was right. They are comedians & it is about socialism.)

Romania
Like Mika, but less squeaky. The further you get into the song, the more Mika-like it
is.

Russia
Some guy in tight black jeans doing a song that 911 or A1 would probably just about
have got away with in the 90s.

San Marino
A big medium paced pop ballad. Nice enough, but hardly distinctive.

Serbia
60's themed pop with a certain nonchalance. The singer is wearing stunning turquoise
tights with Barbie pink shoes, which looks just great.

Slovakia
Downbeat electro stuff, a bit reminiscent of something off Rihanna's Rated R album.

Slovenia
Another vaguely gloomy number with some twangy sitar very low in the mix and some
totally overenthusiastic dancers who I hope she is keeping for their entertainment
value.

Spain
Awful. I don't know why I found this more objectionable than some of the others, but I certainly did.

Sweden
Straight down the line male-fronted Europop. Maybe it's been a long day, mayber I've
watched too many Eurovision entries today, but aside from the glass-smashing, I found
it pretty ordinary. Of all the records, this one was most like something that would
actually be in the charts, which you'd expect because Saade is a proper pop star.

Switzerland
I was sure that the riff was ripped off an advert for an ipod or a cosy insurance
company. Like Fairground Attraction, but without the charm.

Turkey
For a song about being cool and having louche rock and roll fun, the actual music and lyrics falls slightly short of cool and louche. It's only ok.

Ukraine
A winsome blonde in a series of neo-Victorian circus-themed vignettes sings a song of the sort that you could possibly get Aguilera to stick on your film soundtrack. Overwrought and vaguely unpleasant, and contains what could have been the biggest keychange transition of the night, if only it hadn't have wimped out.

UK
We should probably just give up and send random nonsense.
I am not the first person to point it out, but:

Ahem.

Tri-Island Stitchery

2011-03-12T23:38:00.003Z

Today's progress...

I love the outline of the island and the shading on the sea area is starting to look great - can really see where the markings and folds will be.

I'm Selling These Fine Leather Jackets

2011-03-10T23:05:00.004Z

You've got to have a quest.

Last year, the quest was to finish my PhD.

I haven't had a quest for a while, but that was because I was addicted to WoW and they give you more than enough quests to be going on with.

Just before Christmas, I quit WoW and as well as experiencing a sudden influx of unallocated free time, I started to feel that my quest valency was starting to increase. It took me a while to figure out what my quest was going to be, though.

Rejected quest candidates include:
- Learning Latin with a view to read Cicero in the original
- Designing and sewing an evening gown inspired by the jumpsuits of Vegas-era Elvis
- Taking up weaving on a loom
- Healthy exercise!
- Getting some actual publications out, like, ever

I settled upon a quest this week and I think you're going to like it.

I'm going to do a big cross stitched version of this map, which you may recognise as being the map that you use to travel around the Tri-island area in Monkey Island 2.

I'll be turning this packet of threads...

...into an 18" x 11" cross stitched game art masterpiece.

I think I started three days ago. I've not got that far yet.

Original Pirate Material

2011-03-09T00:28:00.002Z

Hilarity ensues as I begin an endeavour to cross-stitch a replica of the tri-island area map from Monkey Island 2.

It began with a sort of dolphin thing.

http://twitpic.com/47ma2h

Pretty Handy

2011-01-09T23:10:00.005Z

Just before Christmas, I was having a run of bad luck. I'd had my card details skimmed and was due to be without debit card access over Christmas and New Year. The final bits of Christmas shopping were stuck in some Amazon/Royal Mail holding loop due to the snow, and I was freaking out at my boyfriend about our journeys to Barnsley and Glasgow for Christmas in The Snow.

To cap it all, as I was sitting on my bed doing nothing more exciting than drying my hair, there was a tremendous crack and my bed disintegrated. This had happened...

Stupid cheap bedframe.

So what do you do with a dead bed, if you're me? Well. I took the headboard off and cut off a decent chunk of the foot with a saw, which was exciting.

It'll take a bit of work with the drill to finish it off nicely, and then there'll be an upholstery situation, but I think that making it into an awesome wooden pew-style bench is a good thing. Also, I've got about 2/3rds of the slats left for making into frames for veg planters when the time comes. Woo hoo.

In other news, I unwisely paid money for a really low-tech, brutally basic rigid heddle loom. I warped it up today, with some very lightweight cotton from Texere.

Aww, pretty. It took FOREVER.

What is taking even longer is the weaving. I wove all evening and have done about 6 inches.

The pattern is a sort of basic plaid, but I think I'm getting the hang of it. It'll be nice when there's enough of it to make a cushion. Also, don't worry. I'm not trying to make sheds with the tension like that, I just unwound some to show you.

Media Properties

2011-01-03T22:57:00.004Z

The return to blogging continues with furious pace.

Let me share with you my thoughts on ~~yaoi~~ The Archers, knitting, gaming and whatever.

Fellow ravellers can see my project page and that I've basically been slacking off on the knitting. I made a shrug from delicious organic wool that I bought on Mull from the lovely people at Ardalanish, which has kept the cold off wonderfully. I've got two more mini-cardigans in the works, which are Not Ready Yet, and then I should basically knit something from a different genre because no-one needs more than three shrug things at once. There was also the matter of some Christmas knitting - lacy mittens - and a very subtle cowl in magenta Kidsilk Haze with gold beads on it. VERY SUBTLE.

Gaming wise, I was there when that big old naughty dragon tore up Azeroth. I've been levelling up my main, playing the worgen starter zone and doing some of the new lowbie content on alts, but I've been finding it surprisingly non-compulsive. This is probably a good thing, and my personal productivity will probably be increased because of this.

Not *all* of the gaming time got displaced to useful stuff - over Christmas I playtested a very adorable game called Glitch which I fear is world-shakingly compulsive and could probably lead to a double-dip recession and probably the downfall of Western civilisation. It is that good.

Christmas (or Crimbo) is also a big time in the Kingdom of Loathing. I finally picked up where I left my character - 180 floors down Fernswarthy's basement - and saved Crimbo for another year. I'm aiming for another level 30/500th basement level run before I frolic through another oxy or Bad Moon run. The game is getting really excellent now, and I'm looking forwards to my next time through the revamped low level quests.

The Archers! I can't remember when I started listening to the Archers as a matter of course, but it was probably just when all the Will/Emma/Ed nonsense was going on. The whole business of Shaking Ambridge To The Core occurred at the weekend, and there will clearly be repercussions. I can't say that I was shaken to my core, given that I'd called that something terrible was about to happen to Nigel from the enormous clanging anvils that kept dropping around him during the whole panto/brooch/schooling setup. And I don't think that being premature is going to be the end of the surprises from Helen's kid. Remember how there was suddenly a supply of semen available and she jumped a waiting list? Mark my words, something is going on with *that*. Also, I give it till March before William Grundy snaps in some awful, messy manner. Poor Nic.

Oh, and I saw Burlesque last week. I discussed my immediate thoughts on the twitstream ("The plot of Burlesque should have been "Oh, would you look at these dancing girls, they appear to be losing their clothes. Also, Cher.") but I basically really enjoyed 33% of it.

One of the remaining thirds was made up of people doing totally unnecessary bits of subplot (I do not think Aggers actually needed to Find Love as well as Finding Glamour) and the final third was (go with me on this) 50% estate agent stuff and 50% dull ballads which I believe were contractual obligations, although I'm not sure who made who oblige to do it.

I summarised my thoughts in this pie chart:

Burlesque: sort of like Cabaret, but really dreadful and with property developers instead of the Third Reich.

Happy New Blog Year!

2011-01-02T22:32:00.004Z

I saw in 2011 at a party in Glasgow, like I've seen in every year since... um... 2006? I don't live in Glasgow any more, so I wasn't hosting my own party, but it was a greatly fun time. On New Years Day, my boyfriend and I went out to the Lake of Menteith (see above) to have a look at the totally frozen over surface and generally marvel at the niceness.

You may have noticed that I took some time off the blog. Well. I'm back. It's been sufficiently long since I submitted, was examined on, corrected and resubmitted my thesis that I can actually bear sitting at the keyboard and doing some writing. This blog recommences now as a crafts/life/media/anticipation blog, and will be linked in with the @ellielabelle twitterfeed like it's supposed to have been all along.

The other internet project I want to get going in 2011 is The Explainatron, which is going to be the popular science blog, attempting to explain and comment on sciency matters and put my money where my public understanding of science mouth is. I've got a bit of actual science writing to do for work this week, but after that, if I don't start operating the Explainatron, you can internet shout at me.

Other things new with me for 2011:

Attempting to use LaTeX tags in my html, without much success

Flamenco lessons!

Covering items with hotfix rhinestones

Attempts to increase my Personal Impact statistics

Sort Your Life Out Thursdays!

Hilarity as I recommence flute playing after I don't know how long

More of the same nonsensical wittering that you so loved before I forgot how to write for more than 140 characters in one go.

Shinily Best Dressed

2010-06-06T22:47:00.007+01:00

So the other weekend I went out to a pretty awesome burlesque show in strange, lovely Cardiff. It was called Orgasmatron and had a sci-fi theme and a great deal of panache. Obviously, it was time to try out the electroluminescent outfit.

Second place in the costume parade? I think so. (The winner was wearing very small amounts of red and silver latex and had many raucous fans close to the stage)

The show was bloody incredible too - as well as a number of extremely strange and creative solo acts (astounding peels involving a vacuum cleaner and a hula hoop, a 'sexy' alien dentistry sketch, a fan dance to the original Star Trek theme, and an amazing Blade Runner routine with those scary ballet shoe bondage boots), there were some nicely choreographed group numbers featuring the Burlesque Cardiff troupe. Oh, and the interval act was The Sonic Manipulator (the only person in the room wearing more electroluminescent wire than me) and two pole dancers in silver leotards. The effect of the Sonic Manipulator's music was intense and confusing - the vocals on the night were distorted past comprehensibility and the beats were echoing around the old Victorian hall in a very menacing manner. I went and had a word with him, and he says he's doing a show at Green Man in August. Can't wait to see him grooving in a grove.

So yes. That was a hilarious night of mischief. I'd be joining the Cardiff burlesque troupe if it didn't require 100% attendance. Shall have to find something equally odd closer to home.

Big Tick

2010-05-05T19:28:00.006+01:00

As most blog readers now follow my progress through other social media, you'll probably know that 30 hours ago a very nice academic recommended that I be awarded the degree of PhD subject to some minor typographical thesis edits.

It was bloody hard work.

I can now (as it has been pointed out) sign passport photos, get into Hilarious Scrapes in airborne first aid situations, annoy everyone by having a gender neutral title, get a bit more respect from the undergrads and like, be qualified for the postdoc I've been doing for six months.

It was totally worth it.

There's the normal amount of psychological scarring and deep nerdery, but on the whole I have benefitted, I think. I am now as educated as the British taxpayer will subsidise and am unlikely to ever do a proper exam again. After 22 years, school is over.

It is hardly likely that I will stop learning. I am already planning the next adventure in putting more stuff in my brain. I bloody love it.

Electroseams!

2010-05-02T21:19:00.002+01:00

Check out the electroseams!

I am tempted to do more electroluminescent additions to clothing - I've been seeing lots of exciting electronic/textile crossovers on the blogs. Time to bulk order the blue LEDs and the Lilypad Arduinos.

A Return To Excitement

2010-05-02T20:45:00.005+01:00

I don't know what it is, but I am really, really feeling the Doctor Who love again. It's like it was back in 2005 when Eccleston was racing around being Doctoral and we didn't know he'd already quit and Billie-Piper-the-new-actress was still a revelation.

Back then, I was in a pivotal education situation - my finals and my MSci dissertation were happening and my procrastination-inclined self latched onto the new myth (if you know about my blog history, you will also know that Brief Brief History of Time occurred because I could simply not buckle down to my dissertation). I was actively fannish back then, and I went for New Who fandom in a huge way.

During the Tennant years, my initial fannish enthusiasm started to wane. As the Who comms basically filled up with angsty 13 year olds writing Doomsday fixits and Ten/Rose curtainfic and babyfic, and Torchwood became a parody of a satire of a mockery of itself, and as the casting got stuntier and the undeniable badassery of Martha and Donna was 'rewarded' by stupid, stupid endings, I started to care less and less. I even didn't watch some of the Doctor/Donna series live when it went out. I only watched the Tennant specials once and don't care if I never see the one with the bus ever again.

Well, something has changed. When we said that Return of the King length goodbye to Tennant and RTD and Rose and all that universe, it was preparing for New New Who and everything was up for grabs.

I didn't like Matt Smith when I first saw him, I thought he had a stupid, massive face and idiotic floppy hair. I wasn't sure about Karen Gillan when I first saw her, her stills didn't do her comic and mobile face any favours at all. But I knew that the Time of the Moff was upon us and I had secret finger-crossing hopes that the joy would come back.

And it turns out it has! Matt Smith and his massive face and Karen Gillan's bolshy Scottishness are lighting up my Saturdays. I've enjoyed every minute of the witty, frightening, tense, banteriffic series so far, and the two-parter we just saw has sealed it for me. Like the Silurians and Cybermen and Daleks, I am back, Who fandom, back with a moderate vengeance. I signed up for messageboards to read about cracked-out conspiracy theories, I have watched the episodes and confidentials multiple times, and I am thoroughly, thoroughly excited about it all.

Is anyone else terribly excited about it all? Or can my fannish resurgence be linked to the end of my PhD and the amount of studying that I've been avoiding doing?

It's Not What It Looks Like

2010-04-18T18:13:00.004+01:00

I have been busy. It looks like I've been dissecting a stripper in some sort of hideous horror movie scenario.

I haven't really. I'm just having another go at bonding some blue electroluminescent wire to the seams of some fishnets. The wire is very smooth, so my initial attempt at sewing it to the seam in whipstitch with invisible mending thread only sort-of, kind-of worked. I wore version 1 of the the EL-seams out to a party a couple of years ago:

Pretty neat, huh? I think they'll look awesome with my silver/purple Iron Fist heels, and there's a sci-fi burlesque night coming up in Cardiff that I would like to go to, so I think we can all see that this is heading in a sort of exciting cyborg Joan Holloway direction.

Unfortunately the V1 EL-seams didn't look that great above mid-calf level, so I had a long skirt on to cover up, and I also had to have a big old power supply clipped to my belt. The improvements I want to make are to get the wire secured in an attractive manner, all the way up the seam and possibly sort out some sort of holder for the power supply that can attach to the old suspender belt. I might need to sort out the wiring as well, as there's a rather ugly joint covered up with some earth patterned heatshrink that will no go with any pants that a sane person would wear.

If I had some mannequin legs, I'd simply pop the stockings over those and use some plastic bonding glue to secure the EL-wire to the seam. But I don't, so I'm resorting to pinning my nylons out to the correct length on some cardboard, then inserting more
cardboard inside to prevent an embarrassing "I glued the front and back of my stockings together" incident.

I'll let you know how it goes when the glue dries and I've got some more AAA batteries and can try the V2 EL-seams out.

Garden Grow

2010-04-11T15:51:00.005+01:00

Yesterday, I had a lovely time in my garden. I've been growing some veg and herbs from seed, and thanks to my obsessive diligence everything apart from the parsley (stupid parsley) had sprouted and was ready for putting out into pots yesterday. My parents were visiting, and as they like mucking about with plants too, it all worked out very nicely.

My courgette plants have been an enormous success so far - so many of them sprouted that I've got more than I can handle and could give three away to my parents and keep two to give to a friend. The small plants (which already look very vigorous) went into growbags and will be slurping down water until the summer.

There were more tomato seedlings than I thought I'd planted - I've kept 21 of them and given some away - and I've got 15 aubergine seedlings which is quite a lot. If it all works, I'm going to have more vegetables than I can really cope with.

The herbs are going fairly nicely, but due to a very amateurish mistake involving me not labelling them, I am not sure what all of them are. I know what I planted, though, so it'll just be a process of elimination. The dill, chives and rocket are fairly obvious, and the parsley is spottable because it's only just germinated, but at the moment the oregano, basil, thyme and mint are all just little dudes with two leaves. Bless.

In the the garden centre (the wonderful Kitchen Garden Cafe) I also got a little mature rosemary plant, some marjoram, two lavender plants and two little saxifrages. These went into big ceramic planters at the end of the rows, and on all my planters I've drawn smily faces and written my name, due to the fact my neighbour is displaying light-fingered tendencies with a barefaced cheek.

Bloody Huge

2010-04-10T21:59:00.002+01:00

I finished an utterly enormous, diaphanous lace shawl today. Ravelink:A Glass and A Half

Tomorrow it gets blocked, and there may be more photos.

Sort It Out

2010-04-07T12:26:00.004+01:00

Work is spookily empty and silent today, so I'm sorting out random admin tasks today. I wonder if I'm even meant to be here at all.

I am still not back in the habit of blogging regularly - twitter has totally taken over the 'one liner' blog posts that I used to make. So what have I been doing?

Viewing Habits
I watched the first episode of the latest series of Who on Saturday, and I was immensely pleased with everything apart from the new version of the theme. Just go back to the original and perfect Delia Derbyshire version and be done with it. But that's a minor thing, and I suppose if you've got the National Orchestra of Wales handy you may as well use them.

I was already sold on Matt Smith and Karen Gillan and the idea of Moff as showrunner, so I was expecting good things from this first episode. What I'd forgotten about was the pleasure of watching Doctor Who without cringing. Tennant did some great stuff as the Doctor, don't get me wrong, and I think he's a fantastic actor, but because RTD had the character tied up in this obsession with Rose and no-one else could ever be as good or true or faithful a companion. Rubbish. Martha and Donna kicked all kinds of arse and still it was all Rooooooooooooose.

Anyway. I liked The Eleventh Hour an awful lot. I was almost jumping up and down when the montage of the different incarnations of the Doctor ran and 11 burst through it being all badassed and everything. The sci-fi idea was ok, but these first episodes are all about the setup, and the setup is amazing. I love the look of the new series and the pace of it and the snappiness. It's going to be fab. Can't wait for Saturday.

I've also been watching Mad Men. Oh Joan. I'm up to the same point as BBC4 are up to, so she's not in it very much at the moment and it's basically about tedious manpain sufferer Don Draper being tediously and repetitiously unfaithful. I think it needs more Joan and more Peggy.

Am I Educated Enough Yet?
I've got my PhD viva at the start of next month. It'll be tough, but I know my stuff and now I've had a really nice month of not thinking about thin-film dielectric coatings even a little bit, I'll be able to go back to my revision with a bit of freshness.

I expect I will probably be educated enough once I've got this PhD thing.

I Knit A Lot
So, I've been working on some impressivelyintricate beaded Estonian lace. I reached the point last night where I finished the penultimate chart of the edging, and started worrying about having enough yarn to finish. I suspect it's going to be close, but it could also be a good reason to put big beads instead of nupps (which I have decided I hate) in the final trim. So I'll be fitting a lifeline to the current step and going for it.

I'm also working on a Peasy cardigan [rav link] in dusty royal blue Colourmart cashmere. It's a pretty brilliant design - it's top down and I worked the sleeves in the round and now I've got absolutely no seams to do. Because the yarn came on massive cones, I also only have ~5 ends to weave in. And it looks nice and feels good too. Just need some buttons for it.

Bad Moon Rising
The Kingdom of Loathing was an interesting place to be on April 1st. I was reaching the end of my 100% Black Cat run and feeling quite sick of it all and wondering how on earth I was going to plink the Naughty Sorceress to death, but the game runners played their prank and made everyones familiars transform into random 'helpful' familiars. As I had been using a Black Cat familiar for the past month, the prank familiars with their neutral effects were actually of huge benefit to me. I dragged myself up the tower, smooshed the NS on the third time of asking and leaped into the gash. The 100% Black Cat ordeal was over, and I never, ever have to do that again.

I'm still in Bad Moon, now as a Disco Bandit, and it's going much more quickly with a decent familiar. I don't know if I'm going to do all six Bad Moons at once, or if I'm going to have a jaunt back into regular Hardcore or Oxygenarian Hardcore to play with all the new Nemesis and Sea content.

It is lunchtime now. I'm having soup.

After All I've Done For The Council

2010-03-26T20:59:00.004Z

So over my period of blog silence, I've had a troubled relationship with the world of online gaming. My unhappy phase of struggling with my PhD work last summer led to a horrendous few months of major dependence on World of Warcraft. It was pretty ugly, but I managed to kick it. I think what helped was that I'd reached the point where it was hard to progress without doing 5 man dungeons and I discovered that the thing I hate most about MMO games is the MM part of it. I'd maaaaaaybe consider going back to WoW if I could go on a grownups server with a literacy test. It was appalling.

So, I let my WoW subscription lapse and it's been about six months and I managed to pull myself together and finish my thesis. To celebrate, I decided to get back into my first and deepest online gaming love - The Kingdom of Loathing. That dumb stick figure game has been there on my gaming back burner for nearly six years now (the game has been going for seven - that's the internet equivalent of SINCE FOREVER) and like a murderer to a crime scene, I always go back.

What I'd taken to doing during my thesis writing period was occasionally logging in to KoL. I'd have amassed 200 turns, so I basically just used KoLMafia to farm. I managed to finish the lucre grind so I had olfaction. I also knew that there were lots of Travelling Trader visits to come, so I wanted smashable items too, so olfacting Iiti Kitty in the Middle Chamber of the Pyramid seemed a simple, profitable idea - the large amount of Magi-wipes I gathered were also quite useful too, and when I get round to smithing all the bat skins into jackets, I'll have loads of elemental wads and gems in time for the implementation of more uses for them. The farming was easy, quick and worked really well, and funded a massive basement dive and an exploration of The Sea. Great stuff!

After that, I ploughed through the cloverless hell of a Bad Moon lead in. At the same time the Nemesis quest was rolling out... Let's say it was a tense time, and I've been vicariously enjoying all of that content through the wiki.

And now I'm in Bad Moon. Not just Bad Moon, but Kittycore - where my familiar is a lovable black cat that actively and adorably impedes your gameplay. I'm doing this to permanently unlock the Bad Moon ascension path so I never have to do a 'cloverless hell' run again. It's highly suitable for my return to the game, as there's very little combat or buffing strategy you can do. Your diet is massively limited too - I'd got used to nomming down hi meins and pasta dishes, washing them down with disco bandit cocktails and maxing out my spleen with delicious wads. In Bad Moon, I've mainly been eating pizza and casserole and drinking the stuff I find in the Barrel Full of Barrels. My spleen has remained untroubled. It's been strange.

So, it's slow progress and I'm only just onto the level 12 quest. I am not even considering going for the Order of the Silver Wossname, as I am not a masochist. Five more ascensions worth of Bad Moon mixed fortunes to go - at least I'll never have to play with this damned cat again.

Sketchy Cabaret in Birmingham

2010-03-20T22:48:00.006Z

Today, I went to the Birmingham branch of Dr. Sketchy's and did some drawings!

On the left is my drawing of the lovely Crimson Sky, which won a prize. On the right is my boyfriend's drawing of the same model. It did not win a prize. I am sure this is because there was only one prize to give out.

Here are more drawings I did:

Emerging Hermit

2010-03-12T20:14:00.003Z

So, right, I handed my thesis in and I realised that for about a year I've been pretty much a Thesis Hermit. I'm working on being a real person again, but it was brought home to me how Not Normal I have been acting today at the hairdressers. The lady cutting off all the stuff that grew on me while I was in the Tower of Thesis Solitude (hair, barnacles, lichen, little ecosystems) was trying to do the usual hairdresser chat, but because I haven't been watching much TV other than Mad Men and Newswipe, I don't go out much, I haven't been on holiday, I don't have a normal job and I'm not a sodding hipster, I had very little material to go over with her.

What's happened to me since last I explained what was going on? Well. I don't live in lovely Glasgow any more, I live in Birmingham where I am now a slightly bewildered staff member in the physics department where I was a slightly useless and bolshy undergraduate. I am applying my experience and alleged expertise in cold thin things to glues and metals to help build a particularly audacious and mad experiment, I work with some very fun people indeed, and I am finally paying off my student loan. I am doing a suspiciously good impression of an adult.

The things I am mainly up to that aren't physics:
- knitting the stash I built up during my hermit period
- starting a knitting group in Moseley with an old friend I randomly ran into in Brum
- practicing for the 'Submission' EP which will contain some unusual covers of the songs I listened to most during my writing time
- growing some vegetables
- trying to work out how to compost as a single household

I can smell baked aubergines. That must be dinner.

OH INTERNET! I HAVE NEWS!

2010-03-04T16:00:00.004Z

I submitted my thesis today! People of the internet, aren't you so very, very, very, very proud of me?

I can do all those things I've been putting off because of my thesis, like getting my hair cut and being social and going to dance classes and learning latin and knitting insanely complex beaded Estonian lace, and I don't need to feel guilty about it.

There's a few more steps in the doctoring process before I get my PhD, but the worst is most definitely over. The full story is that I've posted my thesis provisional copies to the place where they're supposed to be handed in. I've got a tracking code and there's only my last shred of sanity stopping me from planning on staying up all night and crazily watching that precious 5.17kg box of PURE KNOWLEDGE make its way to the hand-in point.

What on earth do I do to celebrate?

vworp... vworp...vworp

2010-02-09T23:55:00.002Z

I think I am going to start blogging again.

I'm having thoughts that don't quite fit into a tweet, and I want to show you pictures of things that I make.

What has changed since I last blogged?

That's When I Get My Reward

2009-07-29T14:04:00.003+01:00

When I have finished my thesis I am going to:

- take some time off
- visit my family
- start knitting the Shipwreck shawl [rav link]
- start a hot rhythm and blues band
- not have any professional interest in glass for a while at least
- get a sewing machine and, ahem, level up my tailoring
- get a copy of Wrath of the Lich King and take my paladin to Northrend.
- costume and choreograph at least one out of my list of ideas for burlesque routines (this list includes acts such as: 2001, Showgirl Mirages, a Maria Callas tribute and a routine about a fantasy game addict)
- read some sodding books because at the minute I appear not to be doing that
- crochet some very complicated doilies
- build a tiny steam engine and get involved in maker stuff
- cook more interesting stuff
- start a new dance class
- get a bike and ride it to work
- blog more and twitter less
- see what's kicking in the Kingdom of Loathing
- not have this overriding feeling of guilt when i'm not doing directly work-related things

But I think the first thing I will want to do is go and have an icecream.

I Must Share This Ludicrous, Insane Idea

2009-06-03T22:38:00.003+01:00

Hello blogland, remember me? Just decloaking to share with you an idea that I cannot possibly bring to pass - although it would be awesome if I could.

Here it is: 2001: A Burlesque Odyssey

Seriously. This idea has been stewing for a while and I've decided it's pretty much the stupidest, funniest thing. It requires a whole troupe of dancers, though, so I can't quite stage the thing. Yet.

Phase 1: Evolution
The house lights go down. The stage is in total darkness, and silence reigns. Slowly, the stage lights come up, revealing a troupe of lovely burley girlies clad in monkey costumes, frozen in attitudes suggesting an evolutionary cul-de-sac. The silence is imperceptibly broken by the first note of Also Sprach Zarathustra and the dancers begin to move into position. daaa......

The lead dancer moves centre stage, still in a simian crouch, towards the big black (probably papier mache, alas) monolith standing back centre stage. Daaaa... The troupe reach out their arms towards the lead dancer Daaaaaa...

DA-DAH! Our apes stretch out in dramatic poses, creating an avenue for the lead dancer to approach the monolith, arm outstretched to touch it.

(dum-dum, dum-dum, dum-dum) The dancers stomp in time with the timpani.

daaa....Daaa......Daaaaaa The whole troupe writhes in a very modern-dancey-fied way as the lead dancer edges closer and closer to the monolith until...

DA-DAH! She touches it, falls to her knees and the troupe fall into lunge positions, shimmying their hands. More timpani stomping.

And as the music reaches a beautiful crescendo, the ape-ladies assume expansive poses that suggest that they've just received the spark of inspiration, the lead dancer turns, rises and runs front and centre. They leap, twirl and pose and on the final chord, they rip open their monkey suits to reveal...

Phase 2: Space Hostesses
Silver hologrammatic lamé mini-dresses and moonboots! Yes! These simians have just become the kind of girls you saw in the space disco when you watched Buck Rogers as a child! The music changes to a superb funk version of Also Sprach... (one with lots of brass that I've heard Nimoloth's band play) and the troupe perform a very cute routine that invokes the motions of zero-g air hostesses on the flight from the Earth to the Moon. They may also peel the dresses to reveal more space-undies. By now, things are getting pretty kitsch and people are either laughing, or they never saw 2001 and are wondering what the hell is going on. Anyway, the troupe are now in space-undies and we're about to enter the most WTF stage of the act.

Phase 3: Oh my god, it's full of stars!
Here we're going to get a little weird. We're going to forget about all that business in the spaceship with that bloody computer and skip straight to the trippy end section of the film.

The way I intend to do it is to take down the stage lights and bring up a blacklight. The troupe peel their bras and their reveals reveal a crazy assortment of dayglo pasties and tassles. Some of them bring out boas and scarves in equally fluro tones. Then the dancers create psychedelic hell by tassle-twirling, boa wiggling and scarf manipulating to the authentically fucked up music from the film and the people who haven't seen the film will probably leave or be sick. The people who have seen it are either enchanted and beguiled or are giggling their chins off.

For a grand finale, we're clearly going to have to bring in the giant space baby, which is painted on the back of the monolith. At the end of phase three, while the lights are still down, the monolith is rotated and the space baby is revealed when the stage lights come up and our troupe of valiant and crazy dancers assume final positions around the space-baby-monolith. In their pants. Ta-da!

....and with that, I re-abandon the blog for a couple of months.

Shoe Time

2009-04-22T11:52:00.002+01:00

It's taken me until the 22nd to write a blog post in April. Clearly I am working really hard writing thesis and doing all those things I do when I'm working really hard on not writing thesis.

But I have come to ask the internet about shoes. I want shoes for work and I'm struggling to find what I'm after.
- I work in a lab, so I need something that actually covers the foot.
- I walk a lot, so I need something that has a decent thick sole (think Converse rather than ballet pumps)
- I hate buckles, tassles, brogue-style detailing and frumpy square toes.
- I want something that won't look middle-aged with jeans or ridiculous with regular trousers.
- I like the idea of shoeboots, but not the combination of a vertiginous heel with a thin, non-grippy sole.
- I'm also not keen on loafers.

In short, I'm tired of wearing these plimsoll things that soak up the rain. Boo.

Staring Into Space

2009-03-31T12:54:00.002+01:00

I'm at the stage of my phd where I should be writing, on average, a page a day. I'll let you decide how I'm getting on with that.

Oh! I remembered what it was that I wanted to post about the other day when I'd totally forgotten what I was going to post about. The burlesque stage name I was going to use - Moxie Divine - has turned out to be not good. It's far too similar to another Glasgow gal's stage name and also, sadly, Superdrug have started carrying a feminine hygiene range called Moxie. Not very auspicious, I think you'll agree. So the search begins again. I was toying with the idea of "Wanda, Force of Nature" because it's different in format from the "Firstname Secondname" you normally get, and I like not being normal.

In other news, I'm really enjoying Philip Glass while I work and I'm also a bit snuffly and full of cold.

And That Is That

2009-03-27T14:19:00.002Z

Hurrah, after three weeks moaning, I'm getting the two things that are wrong with my flat fixed on Monday. Persistence is power. So is whinging.

I was going to post about something specific and it was going to be interesting. I have now totally forgotten what it was. Hrmm. Hrmmmmmmmm. Hrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I went to a burlesque show at the Panopticon, which was good. Was that what I was burning to tell you about? I don't think so, as the main point I had to make about that is that if I was doing any peeling at the Panopticon, I would want to be under a nice warm duvet with a hot water bottle at the time. Wearing many layers. And a hat.

I... found a clock movement in my suitcase and remembered to take it out before I set off for my flight. Not noteworthy, but definitely wise, especially considering the false bottom I am using to transport crochet hooks in. (Oh, the images! The mental images!)

Shit! I wish I knew what I was going to post about. It's bothering me a lot that my memory is totally swiss cheesed. Oh well.

Another interesting thing is that today is the closing date for a job I applied for. Will I get an interview? Will I get a polite rejection? Will I get a rude rejection with complimentary raspberry? Who knows?

Tea and Sympathy for the Devil

2009-03-26T12:18:00.002Z

It turns out that by wearing some nice hearing-protection earplugs in the lab, I can enjoy the Philip Glass emanating from my laptop and not really be bothered by the loud and insistent MURRRWHHHIRRRGRRRR of the pumps, fans and general stuff in here.

Today I'm mainly having a headache and doing some employment directed writing stuff while my cryostat cools. The main procrastination activity is on the Pukka website where I am considering a major tea purchase. I like Pukka teas - the Pleasure, Relax and Clarity flavours in particular - and a major consignment of tea would be lovely.

Free Nelson's Mandalas

2009-03-24T08:09:00.003Z

Isn't this a wonderful idea for fixing holes in knitwear?

I'd almost be tempted to have more lab accidents involving tearing, scorching and acid holes in clothes in order to try it out.

Glasgow Recycles Swift

2009-03-21T12:12:00.002Z

DSCF2773
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

I made a really crappy swift out of a broken occasional table I found in the street and some bits of wire coat hanger. It could do with a better axle, but it helped me wind 400m of laceweight in double quick time last night.

Fat Pipe

2009-03-21T08:56:00.002Z

Holy crap, having my broadband back is so amazingly wonderful.

The main problem is that I really, really, really want to play World of Warcraft.

Arrrrrrrgh.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

2009-03-19T17:35:00.000Z

I'm making a happy music playlist. What is your favourite happy song?

It Always Happens In Barnsley

2009-03-19T08:18:00.002Z

A bunch of colleges are in deep financial trouble because they thought they had been promised funding for rebuilding projects, began the rebuilding projects, and have now been told that the money didn't, in fact, exist at all.

Naturally, Barnsley College is the one in deepest shit and which may potentially go bust. They've knocked down the main building (which stood on the Barnsley skyline like a big lumpy awful thing for decades) and are indebted to the hilt and really rather need to get the building work done so they can take on students and get rid of the debt.

It's worrying - if Barnsley College goes bust then there's nowhere in the borough to train and retrain people for the trades and professions, and as Barnsley's schools have no sixth forms there'd be no provision for anyone in the borough to do A-Levels, except for the elite few who can get out to Penistone. What a total fuck up. And what's worse is that I'm not surprised that Barnsley is coming out worst off.

Radio Impostors

2009-03-17T11:57:00.005Z

First of all, the program that causes me to run for the off switch will no longer be made for Radio 4. Farewell, Go4It, never again will I have to listen to middle class children being irritating to YA authors or hear about how Tarquin and Rosie have been making a butterfly garden and that sort of shit.

Secondly and seriously, there was an interesting program on last night, about the widespread phenomenom of 'impostor syndrome'. (this link goes to the program on iplayer) Now, I think calling it a syndrome medicalises the thing a bit too much, but it incontravertibly exists. The guests on the panel consisted of a physicist, a philosopher and a writer, who all admitted to feeling large dollops of self-doubt and paranoia in relation to their ability to do their job. The physicist was interesting to listen to, as she ascribed her impostor syndrome to being a woman in a man's world - I don't think that's totally fair, but it could be a contributing factor.

For me, the feeling of being found out for the fraud I'm sure I am is currently supplemented by thesis stress. The voice in my head says, 'You've got to write a rather thick book on stuff that you've done and it's got to be good and original and sensible and elegantly written and, most importantly, right and then at the end of it there's a panel of people who will pick apart your work and tell you that you are stupid and YOU WILL FAIL'. But this is apparently normal and totally alright and just part of the unique way that research scientists are trained.

I was feeling like an impostor even before the thesis stress kicked in. What on earth do I think I'm doing, passing myself off as someone who knows what they're doing? I'm from Barnsley! I'm a total chancer! I've got this far on luck and random chances! I can barely add up! I don't even really know what a Hamiltonian or a Lagrangian are! People will LAUGH AT ME when they find out!

And that's what is totally crazy about it. I'm sitting here, taking data in my lab, on an experiment I built in an apparently world class research institution, and I am totally sure, most of the time, that I don't deserve a bit of it and that everything I do is either hopelessly naive or just plain wrong. Reconciling reality with the stuff going on in my head is difficult. I could live with the part of impostor syndrome that forces me to be unbelievably sceptical about anything that I calculate, build or measure, as that is just a healthy error-checking system, but it has gone too far when I don't trust anything I've done simply because I am the one who has done it.

The really stupid thing about impostor syndrome is that most people in science go through it and almost no-one talks about it. Keeping up the pretence that we all know what we're doing and we're totally confident in our abilities takes a lot of mental energy and puts the poor beleaguered scientist under totally unnecessary strain. It's all very, very, silly and we should stop it and get a grip.

Altogether now, this is our new and slightly wordy mantra:
"My skills are ok for my position. I'm actually really quite smart. I make good decisions. There's no need to go beating myself up about not being able to do a Fourier transform by hand, that's what computers are for. I am not about to be found out. I am not a fraud. I'm just a dude doing a job, and I'm doing it quite well."

Found Happiness

2009-03-15T17:00:00.004Z

After yesterday, which was like a wet February weekend in Cleethorpes, today has been a vast improvement. I've got round to 'shelving' the DVDs and CDs and restored quite a lot of discs to their correct boxes (I found Civ4! Slacktastic!) and the basic Ikea recliner is now resplendent in the window, covered in a red velvet blanket and providing a magnificent place to sit and do sewing in the full daylight.

I also went through some of the misc. boxes that survived the move and found an amount of postcards that could cover my living room walls twice over, and a crisp tenner in an old birthday card. It was like a present from my past self, and made me very cheerful indeed.

Plus, I did some sewing up of a bag that I'm making out of a felted ugh! jumper. It's got some cute embroidery, some subtle stripes, and some really crap seams. I should possibly go over them with some toning grosgrain ribbon to embulken and strongify. Also, I need to decide whether I'm going to go to the trouble of fitting a zip, or if a big strong popper would do instead.

And I made soup! And delicious fruity fragment flapjack! And tea! Lots of tea!

Ah, the mood swings. I can take the giddy swing up, but the swing down is savage and fierce.

Spin Up Spinnerlady

2009-03-14T20:08:00.003Z

I'm attempting to spin some yarn for use in a wee cardigan [rav link] and have, so far, found the colour mixing and spinning quite happy-making.

The main thing I'm not sure about is that I won't have spun quite enough. The yarn I'm replacing is Rowan Calmer, which is a dk at 160m a ball, but I'm fairly sure that not all of it gets used. The chair back I am using as a yardage metric is 72cm around, so I'm going to need 2 plies of 222 wraps round the chair back to replace one ball - the last batch of spinning I did was 60 wraps of silk single, so clearly this is a bit of a step up.

I could start knitting the project in question to get an idea, but as I've already got a giant crochet blanket, one innovative Habu/Noro scarf project, a linen paper shrug, some cashmere lace knee socks and god knows what else on the needles, I can't really campaign for that as being a good idea. Oh, and I've got a shrug in luscious Kauni, a beaded silk purse and some socks for a giant(<3) in the queue too, so some prioritisation should take place, lest my retro hippy haven of a living room drown under too much yarn. I already have more crocheted fucking doilies than I know what to do with.

Oh, and I went into K1Yarns today and could have spent a lot more money than I did. They've got some lovely undyed BFL laceweight (I think it's the blank for Fyberspates Faery Wool) and a gorgeous, heart-breaking, drop-dead sexy, femme fatale red lipstick colourway of Habu silk/stainless steel. Be still my beating heart!

The new flat is rather nice - I haven't built my lego yet, and I've still to work out a way to attractively store/present the eight boxes of mixed media things that are sitting in the corner, but I have got a lovely vase of flowers and a giraffe called Florence.

In other news, I'm having a really quite bad time in my own head. The relentless crafting is helping with the mood and temperament, but isn't helping me find jobs to apply for or write any of the thesis I should do.

Life on the Ocean Wave

2009-03-11T16:45:00.002Z

I think I have found my thesis submission project. Shipwreck, in the new Spring Knitty.

It's huge, beaded, requires a bit of the old home-dyeing and I am only allowed to cast it on when I have handed in my thesis. It's a sort of incentive, although as the following incentives are already in play, I don't know how effective it will be:

Current incentives to finish up and hand in:
- I'll be nearly ready to call myself Dr Ellie.
- I'll be able to start a job somewhere exciting
- The constant stress will lift and, apparently, a happy person will come out.
- The possibility of going on a proper holiday
- Oh, and taking time off without feeling guilty
- I'm already six months late (by my own personal, punishing deadline)
- I'll have written a (very dull) book, and can start putting certain other writing plans into action.

This Is Clearly Dodgy

2009-03-09T12:45:00.004Z

So, Scottish Power have managed to incur my wrath after less than a week of being a customer (I didn't choose them, I'm being instructed to use them by the letting agency).

First of all, I received a series of three letters, each welcoming me to my new account, each with a separate account number. Aha, I thought, clearly they have fucked up and given me multiple accounts, which will possibly have some rational explanation. I was a little worried that two of the welcome letters asked me for £30 and one of them asked me for £60, but thought that as soon as I could get onto the proper tariff, that would be irrelevant.

Well. It turns out that they'd intended to send me the three confusing letters, and that the first two were for my gas and electricity separately and the last was for the dual fuel. This way, which made me think they were trying to bill me twice for one lot of consumption, was the way they thought best for their many many customers.

Then, managing to remain civil to the poor phone drone who had to deliver this idiotic information, I asked if it was possible to only billed for the energy I used. This, apparently, was a stupid question. The operative told me that billing customers for the energy they actually used cost the customers much more and that their 'cash monthly' system was much cheaper.

The 'cash monthly' system is where the customer hands over an amount decided by the utility company every month, regardless of how much energy they actually use. This amount is estimated from average consumption figures and is quite unlikely to match up to the amount you actually use. Therefore, over the months you will either be over- or under-paying for your utilities and either you or the company will owe the other some money.

Either way, this is bad. From the summer I spent working for a really dodgy and underhand utility company, I can tell you that this can end in really bad shit. I had people call up to give me a simple meter reading, and because they'd been systematically underestimated for years and years, end up with a >£1000 bill that they cannot pay. I had pensioners who'd obediently sent off their £30 a month for years and years and when I reconciled a reading with the estimate, it turned out that this disgusting company had been holding and earning interest on hundreds of pounds of money that was not, in any way, theirs. Just appalling. When I was there, I sorted out as many refunds as I could and made sure I reminded everyone who called to submit readings and ask for rebilling. The company went bust shortly after I left, but as far as I can tell, this evil practice is industrywide.

So Scottish Power are now trying to do this to me. What I can do to prevent being totally stiffed is:
- submit meter readings online on a weekly basis in order to build up a consumption record
- every month ask for them to reassess my billing
- every quarter, I can also ask if my account is overall in debit or credit and (with any luck) obtain my refund.

Things I Am Short Of

2009-03-06T12:52:00.002Z

Here's a list for future reference. It is of things that I want to make my new flat perfecto.

- Non-stick saucepan set without glass lids and with heat insulating handles. To be honest, I only really need a big one for pasta/curries and a small one for porridge/lonely meals for one, but sets appear to work out cheaper.
- Work lamp to attach to the desk in my thesisatorium.
- Bedside lamp, because there has to be some level between 'three blazing spotlights' and 'candlelit dimness.
- Plants.

Thats about it really. I think this suggests that a bout of Ikea madness is in the offing.

Sorted It Out

2009-03-02T13:52:00.003Z

Hurrah, I live in a new flat now. It's orange and wonky and full of my stuff. Tonight I'm going to cook something interesting in my massive kitchen and then I'm going to tune my guitar and maybe do some crafty stuff. Or I could empty some boxes.

Internet will be sorted soon, which will probably be the most important utility - I'm not going to have a TV and so will also be wanting recommendations for DVD boxsets at some point in the future.

I'm just about to do some maths and I don't really want to. I want to go to my new flat and enjoy it.

Problem Solved

2009-02-25T11:40:00.002Z

In the corridor near my lab, there's a load of massive industrial style washing machines which I presume are either about to be plumbed in somewhere or about to be taken away. One feature on these beasts of cleanliness caught my eye. It says "This key permits time modification".

If cleaning services have beaten me to perfecting time travel, I will be quite cross.

Future Ish

2009-02-20T10:53:00.002Z

When I have finished my thesis, I am going to start knitting some vast and incomprehensible heirloom quality lace, along the lines of the Rose of England or whatever. This is because I am a glutton for punishment and I should always have one painful, vast and insane project on the go.

(Yes, work sucks this week. I don't even want to talk about it. I want to run away)

PS. At knitting group this week, I decided that what I really need in my life is a punked up Barbie frilly bogroll cosy. Not because I have any special feelings about bogroll, but because the process of knitting the cosy and dressing Barbie up as a punk would be fun. Ravellers - there's a whole swathe of lolarious bogroll cosies here

This Is A Colour Picture

2009-02-17T12:13:00.001Z

This Is A Colour Picture
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

The view from the bridge on Belmont Street during the snow - an unretouched colour picture, believe it or not.

Commuter

2009-02-16T16:08:00.003Z

I've gone more or less blog silent in the past few weeks - science is getting increasingly sciency and hard work, weekends are mainly spent with that man, and I'm doing lots of knitting and stuff. Massive jump in thesis page count last week, which was nice.

I feel rather knackered most of the time, especially on Mondays, but that's only to be expected. Could do with a week somewhere warm where I have no responsibilities, but this is a sad and distant hope. No holiday for thesis writers until submission day or mentalness triumphs. Boo.

I Have Already Posted 'Hello Sailor'

2009-02-09T16:24:00.003Z

Oh lovely, Bebaroque have a new range of most severe awesomeness about which I'm having trouble remaining in control. (Between that and the vow of yarn abstinence, I'm drooling on a lot of websites at the minute)

Highlights include:
- Venus sailor tattoo tights
- Geisha ones with lovely blue patterns
- Viper. Tasty!

Ink

2009-02-04T23:18:00.001Z

Ink
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

The basic strokes are all there, but not yet in the correct position.

I like drawing with my dip pen, as you get a nice variety of widths and textures, but I'm down to green and brown ink as my blue, black and gold have all dried up long ago.

I could also experiment with shading.

GRAH

2009-02-03T13:35:00.002Z

Very easily annoyed today - by my contant worrying about trivial matters, the old academic dude spouting hideous right wing crap in the common room, the bleak and damp weather, the fact that it is frigging Tuesday, the undergraduates using my teabags even though they HAVE BEEN WARNED, the tedious earth fault somewhere in my readout system, the batteries in all my mobile technology suddenly draining at once and why didn't I do more work in the second year and I've got to account for my lack of progress to someone surely and oh god where am I going to get a thesis from?

I'm curing all of this with chocolate hob nobs. Just so's you know.

Beam Down: Otter

2009-01-28T10:14:00.002Z

It seems these days that I have become one of those bloggers who only delurks in order to post a link to a cute animal thing. Here's the latest heartwarming otter story.

Quickly, I will tell you what is going on.

1) I'm going to be moving house at some point in the near-middle future
2) I'm knitting furiously and with intent
3) Things are getting interesting in the lab
4) I haven't read a book since about November
5) I quit playing WoW and feel better for it
6) The boyfriend is marvellous and all that
7) Burlesque class has started again
8) I am not very much closer to the end of my thesis

Any questions?

The Most Wonderful Things

2009-01-20T21:44:00.002Z

DSCF2635
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

I loved this piece of knitting [rav link ] even before I put the amazing, supercool, funky homemade heart buttons on it. Now it is fully awesome.

I'm afraid I'm going to be highly positive again - life is wonderful and I'm rolling around in happiness in much the same way these horses are rolling in mud (why on earth is that vid soundtracked with 'I Touch Myself', or is that a really stupid question with an answer I don't want to know?) and so you probably have no desire to know the details.

Now if only I could channel all of this energy, creativity and positive feeling into my thesis...

Let Down Your Hair

2009-01-16T17:59:00.002Z

I've got my copy of the legendary knit.1 winter issue and I'm totally psyched about casting on for some Rapunzel Stockings [rav link].

I'm not sure what yarn to go for - such a gorgeous pattern needs a certain sort of nice yarn. I could go for some Drops Silke-Tweed (colours 11 or 25), or Colourmart cashmere/viscose in steely grey, or Drops Alpaca for extra-sweaty legs or the economical option of King Cole Merino.

At the minute, the Colourmart cashmere/viscose is winning in my head.

I Have My Reasons

2009-01-15T13:13:00.002Z

The only semi-compelling reason that I can think of for buying an iPhone is that I would be able to run this app - SignalScope - which turns your iPhone (or 2nd gen iPod Touch) into a fully functional scope and spectrum analyzer.

You can use the accelerometers, the phone mic or the line-in as inputs and you can record your traces to export them later. And you can do the pinch to your data. *And* it is only £14.99.

Fucking incredible. We live in the future.

Want!

2009-01-13T07:30:00.002Z

So nobody has any money any more, and consumerism is dead, right?

I think I know how to make everyone buy everything they already have again, thus stimulating the economy (fiscally...) and getting the consumer debt flowing again. The answer is...

LEGO!

I already have a camera and an mp3 player, but I for one am going to be sticking a preorder in for one of these suckers as soon as the form goes up. Extend this practice to lego fridges, lego microwaves, lego tv sets (they'd me in stylish black and grey technic, of course) and you can get the whole world wanting.

Your Country Needs You

2009-01-10T19:28:00.003Z

Why are we bothering having this competition?

Can't we just agree that Jade (with her voice and her cheeky euro-smile and her legs) has already won and start sewing on the sequins? Let Lloyd-Webber bash out a big sparkly uptempo number with a slow intro and at least one key change and stop this talent contest nonsense before it gets out of hand.

(I am also uncomfortable with the Dad's Army/WW2 iconography that they seem to be using, plus that whole war room thing was really stupid)

With Knobs On

2009-01-08T08:13:00.003Z

I bought a Grundtal knob rack from ikea and it turns out that the doors in my tenement/townhouse conversion flat are a few mm too thick to accomodate it. I've since found a place for the knobs to live (on the side of the wardrobe! genius!) but it does interest me that my doors are a little bit thicker than the Scandinavians accept.

I've also got my yarn (including the tremendously exciting Kauni!) in a nice organised box, which makes me happy, not to mention the lovely compartmented box I've got to keep my sewing and customizing things in, instead of a multiplicity of leeeetle tubs.

Fiiiiiiiiiiinally

2009-01-07T23:01:00.001Z

Finally, it has happened. After 18 months of sitting around in a bag not doing anything, I've sewn up and filled the cushion covers I knitted.

They're lovely and plumptious. Ahhhh, relax.

People of Earth!

2009-01-06T09:12:00.005Z

Good morning! Isn't the world a wonderful place?

I know that terrible things continue to happen and the economy turned out to not really exist and that people are doing senseless and cruel things to each other in the name of doing senseless and cruel things to each other, but the very fact that humanity hasn't collectively ground to a depressive halt in the midst of this is something, at least.

You could continue to let things get to you and sit around in a wallow constructed from your own misery and pessimism, or you could actively decide that it's worth trying to make the best of things in this life. You are, after all, not going to get another shot at it.

Do you need cheering up on this freezing January morning? There are things to look at on Google Earth, like the hi-res elephants! There's also hours and hours of heart-warming animal videos on youtube - Panda Sneezing and Three Guinea Pigs Fighting Over A Cucumber being particular classics of the genre. Also, last night there was a very good episode of Word of Mouth on Radio 4 (and presumably now on iplayer) that was mainly focused on the linguistics of pirates and also had an extremely silly poem based on British placenames.

What else is good? The banter of your friends, the satisfaction of a job well done, cooking something simple and tasty and eating it, making bored toddlers laugh by acting the fool in shops, making something new that didn't exist before you thought of it, planning exciting things to do with your future and, oh yeah, love.

I didn't exactly intend to make this New Year's post into some sort of fervent gospel based upon YouTube videos and homespun wisdom, but it will suffice.

2009 is going to be an interesting year. Bring it on.

Felted Flowers

2008-12-19T07:42:00.002Z

Felted Flowers
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

Needle felting is easy to do, but will take years to perfect. Here are two flowers I made - I've also made something that looks much, much nicer than this, but it is a christmas present so I can't put a picture of it on the internet.

(Felting also uses up my enormous roving stash much faster than spinning)

Also, if you've got working ears, why aren't you currently listening to David Jason reading A Christmas Carol?

Not Quite What You Think

2008-12-18T17:07:00.002Z

While surfing ebay for fake designer shoes, I found this: The Bumpits Store. I was expecting to find something really, really gross when I clicked the link, but it turns out that 'bumpits' are some sort of hair accessory that you can create big beehive type bumpy hairstyles with ("bump-its") rather than the horrifying alternative ("bum-pits").

I should stop pretending to work. People are in the pub.

Wonderful Odd

2008-12-17T09:58:00.003Z

I had a fantastically wierd dream - I blame the sheer amount of food, sugar and caffeine that occurred at the IGR christmas party yesterday.

Anyway, I was in New York, experiencing serious public transport fail (annoyingly, New York was being served by fundamentally incompatible rural Yorkshire bus routes and the locals were threatening me every time I got out my map) and then I had a meeting with Neil Gaiman. I spent ages talking to him about gravitational waves and he was really enthused by it all - I fully expected to read about our meeting on his blog this morning, until I realised that Mr Gaiman wouldn't have been having the complementary half of the dream.

Now Jenni Murray and Michael Parkinson are talking about Barnsley and Yorkshire Cricket Club on the radio. I'm going to be in Barnsley for Christmas next week - it's been a while.

Sensational

2008-12-14T18:03:00.005Z

I don't know about anyone else, but I'm feeling spectacularly festive today. I went into Glasgow to do a decent chunk of my christmas shopping and actually managed to accomplish my various missions. Some post purchase assembly is required on some of the things, and that's what I've been up to this afternoon.

Also, I've managed to complete a project that has been hanging on at 99.9% complete since Adam was a lad - my Hogwarts crest embroidery (begun shortly after the launch of Goblet of Fire, hibernating for three years) is finally finished and looks pretty lovely. The Ravenclaw bird looks distinctly chickenish, but whatever.

Seeing as I'm feeling so festive, I've got a tree and started trimming it. It is all of 30cm tall and made of white tinsel, but as it is now wearing a felted star and some cute felt garlands and baubles, it is making up in spirit for what it lacks in stature and dignity. I've also got little stars hanging from various things and some mistletoe sitting in water ready for action.

And now Attack of the Clones is on and it's the bit where you can see Natalie Portman's nipples through her impractical white space garment. Ah, cinema.

Tizzy

2008-12-11T19:50:00.002Z

As cures for sadness go, hobnobs coated in nutella are a pretty good one.

My sadness is due to the big gaping chasm of amorphous mist that is my future. At some point, if I don't crack up first, I'm going to finish my phd. Then, I'm going to need something else to do that will allow me to keep myself in the manner to which I am accustomed. I've got rough preferences for what this nebulous something is, but nothing really approaching a plan or anything useful like that. I know that there are bigger problems in the world at the minute than my overeducated job mimbling, but this is the one I'm supposed to be dealing with myself.

ARGH, HELP.

Things That Happen

2008-12-10T19:59:00.004Z

I had to take a lot of the guts of Tiny Cryo out today - that made me a bit more sad than it really should have done, but we'll soon have him working again better and faster than before.

Now, I'm enjoying a rather deliciously silky chickpea & vegetable curry and the start of the BBC3 reruns of S4 of Who. I really grew to like Donna, and I'm looking forwards to going through her various adventures again. Plus, the mime scene in this episode is lolarious.

I also note with interest that iplayer is now supported over the wireless on iphones and also ipod touches (and it works at least as well as the Youtube app nonsense). Now when Virgin trains roll out their wireless, I'll be able to watch Screenwipe or listen to the Archer's Omnibus on my way to and from my sojourns in Brumland. Excellente!

Inertia

2008-12-09T10:32:00.001Z

Oh, bother.

Choreographic Manoeuvres in the Half-Dark

2008-12-07T22:48:00.003Z

The half-baked idea of making up a fan dance routine, but 12" vinyl records instead of fans has been stewing in my head for a while, but it's taken a weekend of boredom and thesis-avoidance to really get my teeth into the project.

Obviously, the only suitable music is At The Sign of the Swingin' Cymbal, otherwise known as the theme to Pick of the Pops or 'that old fashioned chart music'. (I suppose technically I could go for the Top of the Pops music, but taking your clothes off to Led Zeppelin is straying dangerously close to just plain stripper territory)

So the music I'm using is actually the entirely wrong tempo for a fan dance, as they tend to be lovely floaty numbers with feathers and sequins. I, however, am already throwing fan dance convention to the wind with the whole vinyl record thing and so I am going to be doing a cha-cha at a pretty fierce tempo. Thankfully the tune has some ace bits which are practically auditory signposts for 'frock to p.o.n.r', 'left strap off', 'right strap off', 'brassiere fling', 'pose ironically', 'big reveal' and so on. Plus, it divides neatly into sections which I can then divide into various highly basic cha-cha steps, low level peels and hilariously daft posey bits.

Not 'alf, mate.

Achievable Goals

2008-12-04T12:31:00.004Z

After two amazing days where the words came easily, and a day where I mucked about and didn't do anything, I'm having trouble getting started writing today.

So, here's three achievable goals for my writing today:
1) ~~Write at least paragraph about the Standard Quantum Limit~~ Done, as of 13:30.
2) ~~Reconcile my various formulas for estimating h and use it to do a couple of compact binary estimates.~~ Actually, I've looked at the amount of thermal noise derivations I'll need to learn (at least to bluffing level) and I've decided that I'm going to make my sources section almost entirely number free. Who wants a 40 page Chapter 1 anyway?
3) Write at least one more paragraph about losses in coatings.

An Easy Quiz

2008-12-03T16:04:00.004Z

I'm supposed to be writing my thesis. Therefore is it likely that you will find me:

a) writing my thesis

or

b) choreographing a 12" vinyl record-based fan dance to 'At the sign of the swingin' cymbal'?

I was going to give you a clue, but that might make it too easy.

2008-12-02T13:17:00.002Z

So, I'm currently in Birmingham on a thesis writing retreat. I've got as many stimulating beverages as I can drink, I've got lots of hob nobs and I'm surrounded by papers with cryptic annotations. The writing is going well, as my boyfriend's flat is proving to be a relaxed environment and as I said before, I'm in Birmingham where there is very little excitement and glamour to tempt me into slacking off.

I got 4 pages of densely typed thermal noise theory out of my head yesterday, which I was smugly proud of until a freak accident resulted in winedt spewing LaTeX error messages over the top of my .tex files full of work. I was not best pleased, but at least I've got the backup complacency out of the way nice and early and I'm now automatically backing up to a remote location nice and often. (Plus, the working title of the document is now 'Have you remembered to BACK UP?', which is a bit better and much more meta than the 'Confessions of a Glassbasher' I was using earlier)

Now this afternoon I've got all of Queen's recorded output playing on last.fm radio and and I'm feeling confident about getting another 4 pages of theory out.

Driveby Blogging

2008-11-27T09:46:00.003Z

I got into work a long time before I normally do, because I was worried that my cryostat missed me and might be going rogue, but all is very calm in the lab.

Tiny Cryo is chugging away, making the measurements I used to make. I've also got a scheme to automate one of my other experiments, so that will be two that run with minimal intervention from me. This is good because I don't spend all day pressing buttons and going nuts, but on the other hand I'm so bored that I have no choice but to do extra work.

(The bright side of the other hand? If I stay this bored, things are going well and the thesis will be done quicker. The exciting bits tend to mean delays)

You're Plotting Something

2008-11-26T11:58:00.002Z

I've been achieving loads of useful stuff in the lab, but there's still a few little tangles to keep it from all being plain sailing.

For example, I've got a computer for temperature monitoring that is sitting in the clean room and is not networked. Therefore, I can't VNC into it to look at the output or remotely interfere with the program - I've got to suit up and prod LabView whilst wearing sweaty vinyl gloves.

The cryostat I'm mainly working on at the moment, Tiny, is more or less automated, and obediently spends the whole time doing loss measurements with varying degrees of success. I'd be a lot happier if I could mess with certain technical details of the innards, but as it is currently as cold as a very cold thing inside there, I might as well want to prod something in orbit.

My creative stuff has been going great guns - I can really tell that I ought to be working on my thesis from the sheer amount of amazing ideas I'm having and from the time I'm spending making them into sqeuinned, woolly, three-dimensional reality. The first hilariously customised pirate bra made its debut at knitting last night, where it went down a storm. I think the main problem with customising stuff is knowing when to stop, because usually I go Too Far.

In short, lots of things are going on inside and outside of my brain, and I'm having tremendous fun. Big smile. :)

Decisions, Decisions

2008-11-22T11:34:00.002Z

So, this weekend my plans mainly involve knitting and WoW. I think something else creative might happen, but I'm not sure what.

- I could make Christmas cards, for which I have a couple of nice ideas.
- I could do the thing involving socks that I've been planning for a few days now.
- I could launch into the piratical lingerie creation process, involving making skull-shaped beads and and bits of random shiny trim.
- I could do a bleach stencilled t-shirt (or possibly a skirt)
- Or! Baking!

Ideastorm

2008-11-21T11:56:00.003Z

I don't know whether it's the coffee I had with breakfast this morning, the secret combination of prescription drugs I am taking or just a marvellous happenstance, but I am full of incredible creativity this morning.

First off, as I was walking into work I had loads of ideas for solving the piratical lingerie conundrum (hint: it involves the phrase 'Pimp My Bra' and a lot of recreational haberdashery) Also, this goes nicely with a creative idea I had about socks after seeing 'The Devil's Whore' the other night.

Then, I realised that one of the already incredibly useful experiments I'm doing could be extended to to become even more incredibly useful and probably give a really, really significant result that will echo through various citations in a satisfying way.

Pants, A Complaint

2008-11-18T23:25:00.004Z

I don't know about anyone else, but I am hugely disappointed by Agent Provocateur's Pirate Collection. The only item that is even vaguely, slightly, delicately piratey is the corset and all the other piratey things in the pictures aren't even available to buy! (For instance, I would totally go for some of the hats, bandoliers and the awesome be-buttoned jacket, but no, apparently some relatively tame polka dot knickers capture the mixture of drunkeness and grand theft aqueous that was the golden age of piracy. Humph.)

Or are grown women not supposed to dress like 18th century scallywags?

(But seriously, AP, you've let me down. Where's the ruched poet-shirt nighties? The lavishly embroidered waspies, richly-coloured damasks and over-the-top beading? Why aren't there any french knickers in a bloomer-esque cut? Where's the stripes? The skulls? The jewels? Where is the PIRATTITUDE?)

ETA: Damselinthisdress on etsy has got it allllmost right.

[A Famous Confectionary Advertising Slogan]

2008-11-17T16:05:00.003Z

1) Today has been an exciting day in the lab, despite a combination of tangential circumstances conspiring to make me not get in until shamefully late. One of my colleagues has written this program that runs the loss measurement system automatically and we implemented it on my cryostat today. It's pretty amazing, although it is a slightly chilling thought that most of the manhours I've put into my PhD so far could be replicated by a Labview script that doesn't tire, eat or go to Birmingham at weekends.

2) I really do have to stop thinking about buying Wrath of the Lich King and spend my evenings writing thesis instead of levelling random alts.

3) I've got an awesome boyfriend. Just had to let the internet at large know that. I know no-one else in the world who would aid and abet me in producing a very silly and very terrible Wogan-enhanced techno track.

4) It's more than halfway through November! Where does the time go?! I've done no Christmas knitting, I've only got half-baked ideas for my Christmas shopping, and it's all got to get done in the next month!

Very Attractive

2008-11-13T12:55:00.002Z

Isn't this a pretty graph? Obviously, it doesn't mean a damn thing, but I like the pretty all the same. It's quite... well, I don't know what it looks like, but it appeals to me.

In other news, I am nearing the end of my burlesque dancing course and I've yet to choose a really fitting stage name. Suggestions (from other people and from my brain) include:
- Ellie Mental
- Lascivious Smut
- Moxie Valhalla
- *something or other* La Belle

Oh, but there are so many options. Would you, the people of the internet, like to help?

A Turnaround

2008-11-12T11:36:00.001Z

I've got the chance to turn a couple of things around. However, this one-off chance to act occurs at a time when I'm so incredibly angry, stressed and frightened that I'm shaking. Here's hoping I make the best of it and that my points don't get garbled in transmission.

A Breakthrough?

2008-11-10T16:51:00.003Z

Or not.

At the minute, I'm working on a potentially neat little experiment to measure the elastic modulus of a thin film. You'd think that we knew all the mechanical properties of things by now, and that I could go and look the damn number up in a book. This is not the case. It would seem that physics hasn't quite got around to it yet and that if I want to know the number with any decent level of certainty that I'm not using something wildly and hilariously inaccurate, I've got to measure the damn thing myself.

So I've got this experiment, which essentially monitors the stress in something that is very like a bimetallic strip. I can measure what the stress is at a particular temperature, and then I do number magic to extract the elastic modulus (and eventually the CTE).

To go with the measurements I calculated some stress values that would fit with the general pattern of this form of this particular material. The big day to compare these two sets of numbers was today, and it didn't look pretty.

The upshot is, the lines are catastrophically unmatched. Either I've discovered a material that has a negative Young's modulus when made into a thin film and should expect to hear from the Nobel committee any day now, or I am not measuring the effect I thought I was.

My money is on the latter, although the former would be nice.

What The Heck Is This?

2008-11-07T16:54:00.003Z

As someone who has something that is approximately like a full-time job, I tend to miss out on the old daytime telly. Therefore, it took an article in the guardian for me to realise that Hole In The Wall exists. Watch it, UK people (or people who can pretend they're sufficiently UK to fool the Beeb).

1. The silver lycra suits. Why?
2. The point of the whole thing. Is there one?
3. 'FAIL'?!?
4. Slo-mo replays. Eh?
5. It appears to be made using spare guests from Strictly Come Dancing.
6. Why is it entertaining?

Speed Demon

2008-11-07T09:41:00.004Z

This whole long-distance relationship thing has unexpected consequences. I find myself working like a total flipping demon in a sort of organised frenzy that rises towards the end of the week. I find myself slacking less, wasting less time and generally getting my act together, which couldn't have happened at a more vital time, really.

The whole electroluminescent Halloween costume was plenty of lolz, by the way.

Sadly, no-one took any suitable close-ups of the electroseams, but I'll get round to doing the instructable with requisite photography (and slight refinements to my technique) at some point.

I'm also enjoying my rapidly expanding collection of zingily coloured pashminas. Until I knit a massive Lace Ribbon [ravelry link] (probably in the lovely Kauni yarn that the divine Ms K gave me as a birthday present) the pashminas are providing me with lots of neck-area warmth and a side helping of style too.

Electroseamed

2008-10-30T22:33:00.002Z

Electroseamed
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

Ok, so this isn't the most glamorous picture of my in my new electroseamed stockings, but it is the most safe for work. I'm really happy with my ludicrously overdone Halloween costume - between the stockings , the rayguns and the... other things, I'm going to be lit up like Blackpool Illuminations.

Yay for lights.

Also, it is very hard to take successful pictures of the back of ones own legs. You learn something every day.

Shiny shiny

2008-10-28T10:26:00.003Z

I'm now the proud owner/creator of a pair of electroluminescent seamed fishnets. If the internets are good, there might be pictures and if I have time, I might do a quick Instructable so that other nerdy burlesquers/costumers can share in the shiny, shiny goodness.

My main non-craft related news is that I'm still cold. I want to get a big stack of blankets and make a nest in which to hibernate.

Oh, and my experimentation with a daylight simulation, energy saving bulb is progressing nicely. Rather than creeping out of bed, groaning as the darkness is barely lifted by a dim yellowy glow, I get the warm blue blast of unfiltered sunshine. Nice.

Whereabouts

2008-10-27T12:01:00.003Z

It's going to be a busy one this week.

I spent the weekend in Birmingham, chilling out, playing Guitar Hero and eating flapjack. Oh, and spending time with my boyfriend too, mustn't forget that.

Now I'm back in Glasgow, in the lab where it is VERY COLD and likely to get EVEN COLDER, and I've got so much to do. I would like to be somewhere warm, with much less to do, but you can't have everything, can you?

I didn't play any WoW or do any knitting at the weekend, so I've not finished those purple lace socks and I've not had much chance to ravage Azeroth as a zombie.

'Good' Ways To Start The Day: #1

2008-10-24T09:47:00.004+01:00

Accidentally using yourself to conduct an RF signal of non-trivial voltage, but thankfully, very low current. It's bracing!

There's going to be a lot of soldering iron action today. I entirely approve of that, so long as I can avoid further shocking electrical experiences.

Falsies

2008-10-23T21:46:00.004+01:00

As my updates become more sporadic, they will also become stranger.

Tonight, I've been sewing electroluminescent wire into my clothing, pondering the exact amount of metal one has to wear to set off an airport metal detector, trying on massively extraordinarily over-the-top false eyelashes, exfoliating like a bastard, practicing two very silly dances indeed, considering the wisdom of making flapjack, and avoiding being infected by a zombie plague.

My gym-going has resumed after a brief pause, work is... ok, I've finished knitting and blocking some gorgeous beaded lace and I've lost the ability to write sensible or interesting blog entries.

I am not looking forwards to ripping these falsies off my eyelids. Why did I glue these things to my skin, anyway?

The Future Has Rayguns

2008-10-19T18:54:00.001+01:00

DSCF2284
Originally uploaded by EllieLaBelle

This Halloween, we're having a sort of cyber noir theme to the big party. My costume involves battery packs, things that light up, and a raygun.

These not finished yet, but they're already pretty shiny.

I'm also going to be doing some goggles and an LED-equipped pink feather and diamante fascinator. Fantasmo!

An Enigmatic List

2008-10-17T14:30:00.003+01:00

I bet some of you will know what this list means:

Indisch Rot
Rittersporn
Drachenblut
Koralle im Meer
Am kalten Polar
Pfauenauge
Iris Sibirica

ETA: Gutted! I missed it because I was diligently working this morning. Bah.

To The Finish Line

2008-10-17T10:15:00.002+01:00

This weekend I'm going to have an official Finishathon. I'm going to speed knit my way through as many of my WIPs as possible - I've got four projects at the 50%-70% completed stage and I reckon I can get at least three of them finished and bound off by Sunday evening.

The first to be done will be my tweedy arm warmers, because they're just 2x2 rib and will probably get close to finished in the pub this evening.

Then I'm going to finish the sock I'm working on (Baudelaire in pink/purple) which might get boring, as I'm doing the lacy ankle part. After that, I've got the choice between yomping through the stockinette sleeves of the creamy cabled cardigan I'm making for one of my sisters or the intricate beaded lace of the silk scarf I'm calling 'Curiouser and Curiouser'.

It can be done. It will be done.

Knitwear Conundrum

2008-10-15T09:21:00.004+01:00

I'm currently having problems with knitwear.

My favourite lightweight, long-sleeved, round-necked black cardigan is now beyond the point of repair and I want to replace it. I've been wearing this cardigan since I was in year 9 at school, so it has had what they call a good innings.

I could knit a replacement, but in order to get it lightweight enough, I'd have to be working in an eye-wateringly fine gauge. Therefore, I will have to buy one. I would like to be able to stretch to cashmere, but unless I find a small stash of gold bullion between now and shopping time, I'm probably going for cotton or wool.

ETA: Ravellers! Isn't this vintage-style cardie fabulous? It's in dk, so not as torturous as a real vintage 2/3/4-ply pattern. I fancy it in purple, green or black.

The Porridging Hour

2008-10-15T06:13:00.003+01:00

Good morning! I'm so awake! Zing!

I think that I will go and make some porridge and then take advantage of this cold white slap of awakitude and go into work horrifically early.

Wish me luck.

Work and Not-work

2008-10-14T10:05:00.002+01:00

There are so many things that I would like to be doing that are not-work. However, work is getting very interesting and time-consuming so there is less time for not-work.

I'm looking forwards to stitching and bitching at Sith tonight and to dance class tomorrow, but what I mainly want to do is get the work done so the not-work can begin.

Aten't Dead

2008-10-08T08:32:00.006+01:00

So, you may be wondering what I've been up to.

The answer to that is 'very little of interest to a public blog' so let's leave it at that.

This morning, I took delivery of a package containing brightly coloured electroluminescent wires and a neat little transformer box for powering them. They are the most entertaining inanimate things I have ever seen, and I expect that they will make a highly impressive focal point of my Halloween costume. The theme this year is a sort of Cyber Noir/Future Noir thing, which is basically gangsters and molls with blue LEDs and rayguns. Exciting! (I must get some blue LEDs, actually, I'm sure I can make use of this tutorial with... interesting results)

The burlesque dancing lessons are going well. I can peel coats and gloves, plus I can pose and slink like a pro. I'm definitely headed towards the funny rather than sexy side of burlesque, but I think that's an equally valid artform. We're doing skirts and scarves tonight - apparently we're supposed to be channelling Rizzo, but I don't remember Grease featuring any stripping.

Enough wittering. I'm busy.

Demonstration Irritation

2008-10-02T09:43:00.005+01:00

This year, I appear to be demonstrating the Honours lab on RF electronics. I don't really want to do it, as it takes up 5 hours a week that I could be spending ~~slacking and fretting about my thesis~~ doing useful work, but then it does pay quite well and there's no real way of getting out of it except by running away and leaving the country.

Anyway, the students should be fairly with it by now and the RF electronics lab is essentially one equation applied to different types of conductor. It's going to be boring, but once I really get into my stride of hating the lab, hating the students and hating things generally (I am the lab Marvin) it'll all be good.

Plus, with fudge and maté as a post-breakfast energy snack, I'll be too busy making rapid movements and yelling that everything is TOO SLOW to care.

Science, Interrupted

2008-09-30T12:17:00.006+01:00

I'm in the lab, underneath a pile of receipts for my conference expenses, wondering what exactly I was doing in the lab before I went away.

My heater circuit appears to be working, so I could cool down. Maybe I will take some room temperature ringdowns first to see if alles ist in ordnung.

ETA: Aha, it would appear that not every thing is working. It's a good job I checked before I did anything silly like adding LN2.

ETA2: I think I might have tracked the problem down. If it's what I think it is, then I'm going to have some Trouble.

ETA3: I fixed it! All by myself!

The Toppest of Trumps

2008-09-25T07:43:00.002+01:00

Last night was the LSC/Virgo collaboration meeting dinner, and as usual, partying occurred. I was amongst a select few that ended up devising the game of LSC Top Trumps.

Unfortunately, it would require a bit of setup prior to the first game, as we would need to rate every LSC member on the following categories:

- Citations index
- Value of equipment trashed
- Telecons attended per week
- Oldest citation in thesis
- Stylishness
- Percentage body hair coverage (it was never specified whether high values were desirable or not)
- Gravitational waves observed (yes, we're all on 0 for that one so far)

So, kids, LSC Top Trumps - available in a Woolworths near you within the next 18 months. Or 2 years. Actually, let's just say five to be on the safe side. Ten, maybe?

That Taste Great Together

2008-09-23T13:47:00.004+01:00

Reasons not to let physicists name things, #4872 in an infinite series:

Turduckening Black Holes: an analytical and computational study

Turducken?! What does that have to do with a black hole?

(I have been in exclusively scientific company for too long already - I have no chat that doesn't involve Star Wars continuity errors, cryogenics anecdotes and pedantic treks down the fanciful garden path of imagination)

We Is The Physics

2008-09-22T08:11:00.001+01:00

Am in lovely Amsterdam, in a fabulously fresco'd old church, listening to people talk about gravitational waves.

How awesome is my life?

Pre-flight checks

2008-09-18T17:58:00.001+01:00

Argh, I'm going to Amsterdam on Sunday (for Science!) and I've not even begun my obsessive pre-flight travel prep. Here goes:

Travel Listage:
- Tickets, passport, hotel reservation and map
- When and how are you getting to the airport?
- How do you get from Schipol to the hotel (I know this one, I'm just including it for completeness)
- Do you have maps of where you will be going?

Packing Listy Goodness:
- Smart or relaxed?
- Shall I bother taking anything that doesn't look like ass for the conference dinner?
- Shall I bother ironing anything that I pack? (NO)
- Hell, I shan't worry about clothes because at least I won't be wearing the same t-shirt and ill-fitting shorts combo for the duration and will therefore be one of the best dressed people there.

Techno List:
- Do you have all your wires, chargers and adaptors?
- Do you have these things arranged so they don't look like a bomb and cause your hand luggage to be swabbed to within an inch of its life?
- Did you have to do anything to get wireless at the conference?
- Do you have suitable travel reading/listening?
- Do you want to take some sock knitting to work on?
- Is there plenty of space on your camera?

Yep. I'm a seasoned globetrotter. Dill and marjoram, I think.

Forever Autumn

2008-09-18T17:58:00.000+01:00

It's official - the Cold Times have begun. I know this because I've had to wear my lab jumper.

(My lab jumper is a stripy blue and grey oversized hemp number that I bought in a fit of whimsy and coldness when I was in Sydney last July. It smells like a clean hippy)

No, Really Do Panic

2008-09-17T09:46:00.003+01:00

Matt has said it in a wordier manner, but my response to this horrible news is that I sure as hell won't be paying to read Hitchhikers Guide fan-fiction.

Yuck.